Embracing the Unknown

July 31, 2017

This week's musical tune to compliment the {field note} below as you read or do what you please: Jam Here.

 

"It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all-- in which case, you fail by default." - J.K.Rowling

 here i was,

in the red rocks 

when i received notice

that i would be moving 

 a tiny house on wheels

all within ten days time.

 

i had no idea where i would go

 or what i would do.

i was over 1700 miles away

from where i needed to be

to get things in place + order.

 

 throughout the week

     + each minute passing

i questioned how i could move

this life i've been building the past year behind-the-scenes

    the retreat - one nail at a time

    the style - one thread at a time

    the book - one page at a time

    the blog - one {field note} at a time

 

i drank from a black mug that seemingly starred back at me...

 

the mug contained a sharp contrasting white lettered quote

penned from the "-unknown"

    & asked me,

"what would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?"

 

i sat with the question... the tea... the coffee... all that ever encompassed the mug.

 

it reminded me of a week prior 

in maui, hawaii

doing an off-the-grid,

steep as heck

free-climb

down volcanic rock

for the first time.

 

as i approached the cliff-side edge,

there was an instant realization

that this was the real deal

with all of me, my hesitant legs + the rocks.

 

on the descend, there were many times

i would pause to collect my bearings.

 

in the middle of an intersection between left or right,

i also wondered what random rock formation

could potentially sculpt my foot + act as handholds next.

 

with every climb different,

loose flakes in between,

i had a commitment to this wall

that appeared to be created just for climbing.

 

there was a deep interaction in & of the moment

that took place

that i am here, + here

    + here...

   despite the complexities of such potentialities of falling

& that nature and i are totally intertwined on the edge.

 

 

a feeling of fear experienced on the climb

felt similar to what i was experiencing with

the unknown

of such a sudden move + life change

there was very little time to think before moving.

 

searching for another place to grip onto momentarily

i just had to trust

for just one.more.step.

 

here,

like dust in the wind...

fear felt as if it was blowing away.

the end was in sight!

 

below me, a serene, natural + calm ocean tidepool...

              i jumped into the water.

 

another step forward,

 a last minute flight was booked back to the northwoods.

tired with a mind that was yearning for wide open space,

me + all of my wanderlust landed for the sixth time in one month

with wings once again grounded on the earth.

 

my first day back in wisconsin

was a happening collection before my eyes

of old vinyl siding from the 90's

soon to get a repurposed life

courtesy of the old moullette development & group.

 

not knowing how to install vinyl siding before the day began,

i sat with the materials

   just as i had with the black mug

& every YouTube video i had watched over time

drifted far,

far away from mind...

 

for here i was

in unknown territory again.

i held my first piece of upcycled almond vinyl in my hands

+ prayed that i wouldnt fail + screw this thing up.

 

there's only so much siding

+ it has to protect the wood sheathing underneath.

when the tiny house travels down the road...

oh my,

please may this siding stay intact.

 

one layer of siding after another,

+ i still didnt know where the tiny would be going,

   or how it's 38 feet would get moved.

all i knew was i just had to keep moving

+ i had 4 days until it needed to move.

 

after hammering my thumb 

+ cutting my skin up on it's tanning surface,

the vinyl siding was locked in + complete...

 

as i breathe into this colored canvas, my heart is full.

for i am gratefully humbled by family + friends who came together 

to make it all happen.

this time spent was definitely a shared capsule for the memory book...

   so meaningful to me

   +

exhilarating + rewarding like the tidepool below the cliffside.

....

two days until the big move.

i reminded myself to keep calm,

   to just breathe

even when the framing doesn't quite fit on the wall

& the pieces of the puzzle havent quite come together yet...

 

 

the last full day of moving came by ever so quickly.

as i was on my last energy thread

   mentally

   physically

   emotionally

   spiritually

i continued the move +

boxing things up.

 

still questioning

while trying my best to put everything in it's own place + order,

I NEEDED ANSWERS

+ i needed them Now.

 

then like wildfire, everything clicked.

seemingly magical

+ of the moment

everything moved.

 

from a 10 day notice that i need to move,

to a change of plans,

a last minute flight,

   + lots of building in between, 

my life moved in 24 hours time.

 

 

after a sunset + an iced thumb,

continuing the movement

to dream.build.breathe.repeat. & T R A V E L

   i must.

 

even when i dont have everything all figured out

   i must keep fear in the backseat by the potato chips.

   i must keep moving forward through all of life's risks.

 

on this adventure of a ride

i am in the drivers seat

& through one field after another,

   whether i be traveling through new land, sea, or in my very own backyard,

i'm going to continue to fail.

 

so i cheers with a black mug of inspiration

     quoted from the -unknown

to us...

to fail spectacularly

to climb new heights

to jump into liberating water

    time & again.

What is freedom to you? What makes you feel liberated? What would you do and where would you go if fear wasnt in the way?  Let's explore this vast open space one undiscovered magical moment at a time. Sign up here for occasional emails from The Magical Field.

 

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